Code Gayass: LeDouche of The Rebellion
by Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay
Summary: The Britannian Empire has taken complete control of Japan and christened it with the new name 'Area 11'. It has taken away a majority of Japan's rights, including those to gay marriage and fabulous shopping malls. It's up to 'LeDouche' and his new found power of Gayass to obliterate this horrid empire so the gays of Japan, including him, can live happily ever after. Crackfic!
1. Prologue

**Flashback: Lelouch & Suzaku, both aged 8.**

* * *

"Ohmaygawd, I can't believe Japan was turned into Area 11!" Suzaku complained, flipping his gay swoopy hair out of his eyes. "This isn't fair! We don't even have any rights! Those assholes took away all of the good shopping malls, and gay people can't get married anymore!" He pouted, batting his eyes at Lelouch. "And I wanted to have your babies when we get older, too! Waah!"

"Suzaku, we're both men. You know that can't happen." Suzaku rolled his eyes. "No way! I'll _make_ it happen!" Lelouch sighed. "Anyway-"

"I don't know what to do anymore!" Suzaku randomly burst out crying. "Britannia is such a stupid meatball head! Our world sucks now! I don't want to live anymore if it's going to be like this for the rest of our lives!"

Lelouch frowned and gently patted his boyfriend's head. "Come on, now, don't talk like that." A look of determination appeared on his face. "Suzaku…" The brown haired by looked up at him, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Yeah?"

Lelouch placed a hand over his heart and allowed his voice to rise to a near scream as he spoke.

**_"Suzaku.. My love.. I swear… One day, I will destroy Britannia!"_**

* * *

_**XD As you can see, this is going to be a parody/remake of the entire anime series. I'll be making my own (Hilarious?) version of every episode, that is, if you guys want me to. I'll be happy to update if I get some reviews. They would be greatly appreciated! :D**_


	2. The Day a Demon Was Born

_**Warnings: extreme OOC-ness, and probably some offensive material. If you are easily irritated by mere jokes, this story is not for you!**_

_**Episode 1:**____The Day a New Demon Was Born_

_**Narrated by C.C:**_

_**The date was August 10**__**th**__**, in the year 2010 of the Imperial Calendar. The Holy Britannian Empire had just declared war on Japan, because they were sick and tired of the constant faggotry, porn, and bullshit that the country's industry spewed out. The far east island had held fast to its neutrality, allowing Brittania to destroy Japan's beloved gay community. Now, Brittania rules as the world's only superpower. **_

_**Rights to Japan's hidden stash of porn became a hotly disputed issue, straining the already deep rooted diplomatic tensions between the two sides. In the decided battle for the pornstash, Britannian forces introduced into combat the humanoid, armored knight known as the straight pride defender, or "S.P.D", which were able to detect any form of gay and destroy it on the spot with lazer beams. **_

_**The enemy's forces were far greater than anticipated, and the S.P.D obliterated the homosexual warriors and took the pornstash with little effort. **_

_**Japan became a dominion of the empire. The country was stripped of its freedom, gay rights/bars, shopping malls, and even their name. **_

_**Area 11. The once proud country of Japan was re-christened with a real number. **_

((Then Lelouch and Suzaku proceed to bitch once again about the lack of shopping malls, and Lelouch swears to obliterate Britannia.))

**Theme song time:**

**JIBUN WOOOOOOOO**

**Present Day: 2017 A.T.B**

"This is alpha three, and the target is travelling towards Delta 14 at a speed of eighty kilometers per hour!" A pilot yelled, flying over an armored truck. "This is to all mobile units! Declaring a code 3 from 4-5 to zone 2! All units, take 288! I want the target intact!"

"Here's video footage of yesterday's terrorist bombing in Osaka! The secretary reported 59 casualties in this incident, six Britannians and fifty one others!" The news blared in the background as the two continued their game.

The old man on the right side of the board was completely stumped. He had no idea what moves were left that he could possibly play. _Holy shit, I have SO fucked myself over._

"Oh look, time is up." The time keeper smirked. "From this point on, you'll make your moves every twenty seconds." The nobleman on the other side chuckled softly, filing his nails in a totally-straight way. "Heh. Very well." Before the old man could make a move, the sound of a door opening caught their attention. The nobleman scoffed as the old man ran up to greet the newcomer. "Oh, has your substitute arrived?"

"Oh, thank heavens, I'm saved!" The old man rejoiced as Lelouch and Rivel walked into the room. "Are things going well at school?"

"THIS is my new opponent?! The nobleman snorted. "What the fuck? You're not one of those faggots, are you?"

"Oh, well look at this. A stuck up, homophobic nobleman." Lelouch sneered. "I'll have you know that I am indeed one of the "faggots" you speak of, but I am a pure blooded Britannian. There's no need for you to worry, my good sir."

The boy received an eye roll in response. "Hmph. Figures. What's your name?"

"Lelouch. Lelouch Lamperouge." Rivel observed the chess board. "Wow, Lelouch! I don't think so can win this one. It's impossible, right?"

Lelouch shook his head. "Rivel, when do you think we'd have to leave to make our next class?"

"Uhh, twenty minutes, I think!"

"Then be sure you drive safely on the way back. I'll need nine minutes." Lelouch sat down before the nobleman.

"Nine minutes?! But you only have twenty seconds per move!" The man protested. Lelouch shrugged, lifting his king and smirking. "Enough time, for a _faggot_, at least."

"You start with your king?! Hahahahahahahaha! How foolish!" Lelouch just smiled and made his move, waiting to see just how this game would turn out.

"Where the hell is Lelouch?! He left before I could give him his new dress!"

"I think he went somewhere with Rivel."

"Ugh, what, is it strip poker this time?" Shirley rolled her eyes. "They seem to forget that they're on the student council, and they're off gambling! Lulu is so smart, and yet he wastes his brain on stupid things! If he actually APPLIED himself in school and stopped being such a ho-bag, he'd get good grades!"

"Ohhh, I wish I could see my darling Lulu in that dress you made. Wouldn't it be adorable?" Milly squealed. Shirley facepalmed. "Oh, Madam President.."

"Perfect! After all that, we've finally stolen this damn thing! It's all because Tamaki's dumb ass didn't stick to Naotou's plan! And now we've got a problem!" The blue haired truck driver who's not important enough to have a name because he dies anyway said.

"Aww, ballsack." Kallen grumbled, pulling her hat over her eyes.

The nobleman stared in horror at the chess board, bawwwing over the fact that Lelouch had pwned his fatass and he had lost the game.

"I LOVE playing against the nobility! When they lose, they always pay out in pride, now don't they?" Rivel chuckled as he and Lelouch stepped outside. "By the way, eight minutes and thirty two seconds is a new record!"

"He also didn't have much time to move, either. And as opponents go, the nobles are over privileged parasites who feed off all their straight pride bullshit. None of them deserve to live." Lelouch scowled.

"Well then, why don't you challenge one of the elevens? They're NOTHING like us Brittanians!" He received a slap in the face from Lelouch. "How dare you speak of them in that way! My boyfriend happens to be one of those "elevens"!

Rivel frowned and rubbed his sore cheek. "Whoa, man, calm down. And no offense, but you haven't seen Suzaku in years. Do you _really_ still consider the two of you a couple?" Lelouch gritted his teeth. "That's-"

"Whoa, wait a minute, what's going on?" The two turned to see a live news broadcast airing on the overhead monitor.

"What the hell are they trying to prove by killing innocent people? Those elevens are terrifying!" A woman in the crowd commented.

"We apologize for the delay. Now, Prince Clovis, the third prince of Brittannia will address the nation."

The handsome prince appeared on screen in a dramatic display. "To all of my imperial subjects!" Lelouch narrowed his eyes. "Including, of course, the many cooperative homosexual elevens who choose to serve the empire of Brittannia!"

Kallen scowled from her truck. "We're not elevens, we're Japanese!"

"Do you not see my pain?! My heart was ripped from my chest, only to be torn apart! The remnants are filled with rage and sadness! As ruler of Area 11, I will not tolerate terrorism of any kind, whether it may be from the faggots or my loyal subjects! The battle we fight is a righteous one! A virtuous battle, to protect the wellbeing of one and all!" Clovis continued.

"I would like all of you to join me in a moment of observance for the aids who died for justice in the line of duty."

"Well, aren't you gonna join in?" Rivel questioned as he watched Lelouch fiddle with the parking meter.

"Aren't you?"

"Haha, I guess not. It's kind of embarrassing, with us being faggots and all."

"And I agree with you. Besides, spilling tears over those people won't bring them back to life, now, won't it?" Lelouch smirked. Rivel rolled his eyes and laughed. "Damn! That's dark, even for you!"

Lelouch shrugged. "It's all about having self satisfaction. It doesn't matter how hard you try. You can't do it. There's no way you can change the world."

"Wow, you were magnificent, your highness!" A woman commented as the cameras were shuffled away from the prince.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm fucking amazing. I've got more swag than all of you combined." Clovis bragged, throwing a shitload of fried chicken into the crowd. "Come and get it, bitches! This is a celebration!" A group of fangirls then proceeded to squee about how amazing the prince's rule was for this country.

A random man-bitch with a pony tail and a lump of hair shaped like a broken dick sticking out of the front of his head rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. His reign is a pathetic sham. It's even more pathetic than my character design- OMG!"

A fat black man dressed like a soldier quickly ran up to Prince Clovis. "Your highness! Your highness!" He went over and whispered something into the man's ear, causing him to go batshit with outrage. "You fool! How could you?! You'll ruin my image!"

"It's not my fault! The police were informed that it is nothing more than medical equipment, so we don't have to worry! If we scramble the army-"

But Clovis refused to hear any more. "Deploy the royal guard! The S. , as well! We can't risk losing something this important!"

"Alert one! Alert one!" A siren went off as a random guy, an anorexic whore with big tits, and a man with blue hair that is important to the plot jumped into their S. . "Fourth, seventh, and eighth reaction companies, as well as the 31st air assault team, immediate scramble! SCRAMBLE, I SAID! SCRAMBLE LIKE YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S ON FIRE! Special division nine, stand by for deployment!"

"Hey, I have a question." Rivel said, adjusting the seat of his motorcycle. "That first move you made… Why did you start with the king?" Lelouch rolled his eyes. "If the kind doesn't lead, how can he expect his people to follow? Even a retarded midget would know that."

"Damn, you're mean today!"

"Yes, I'm aware-"

"HOLY SHIT IN A BALLSACK AKSAKHKHSFUHFEHUFKUH WE'RE GONNA GET RUN OVER!" Rivel screamed, taking immediate notice of the truck towering over them and swerving his vehicle to the other side of the street.

"You idiot! Watch where you're going!" The blue haired yelled from inside the truck, sharply turning the steering wheel to the left. "No, not that way!" Kallen howled. The truck was then pwned in the face by a shitload of orange cones before it crash head on into a building.

Rivel pulled the bike over to the side of the road, staring in awe at the smoke billowing up from the crash sight. "Dammmmn.. Was that our fault?"

"Nah, don't get too worked up over it. They were probably retarded, anyway."

"Attention! The target has crashed at the abandoned V.O. building construction site! The military will take over from here!" A pilot flew over the site, assessing the damage. "General Bartley's command!"

"Wait, you mean that fat black guy?"

_We have to retrieve it at all costs. _General Bartley walked ahead, deep in thought. _That… Thing! Who KNOWS what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands! _

"Aww, man, this sucks! Looks like the powerline on the bike got cut!" Rivel complained. Not paying attention, Lelouch headed over to the edge of the road and looked down at the crash site, eyes widening in confusion. A group of green orbs came together at once, but then they vanished into thin air. "Yeah. Rivel, come check this out!"

Before Lelouch could get Rivel to come over, a bunch of people crowded around the edge of the road and started baaaawing about how terrible the crash was.

"Those idiots." Lelouch snapped a picture of the sight and ran off towards the truck, leaving a pissed off Rivel behind. "Goddammit, Lelouch! Wait up!"

Lelouch attempted to pull the back door of the truck open, but to no avail. "Hey, retards! Are you alright? Do you need a mental hospital?" Rivel rolled his eyes as he watched the whole charade. "Man, what the hell. Can't he just shove his pride up his ass for one day and just let it go? Now we're gonna be late to class!"

"Blue haired driver! BLUE HAIRED driver!" Kallen yelled to her partner when the airbags trapping them finally deflated.

"I repeat, are there any retards in this vehicle that need assistance?" Lelouch yelled, climbing on top of the truck. "Whatever you need, I'm he-" A flash of light suddenly pierced his mind, cutting him off.

_Finally! It's you! I've found my… My… _A female voice echoed in his head.

Lelouch looked around in confusion. "Wait, where did that voice come from?" He looked down into one of the openings. "Helloooooo? Are you in there? Are you like, deaf or some shit?" Lelouch was starting to grow insanely irritated. "FUCKING ANSWER M- WHOOOA!" The boy was thrown down into the hole as Kallen summed up some strength and slammed her foot down on the accelerator.

Lelouch cleanly hit the floor, looking around for a way out. "Hey, stop, I'm in here!" He let out a loud groan as the truck started to move, jerking him violently against the wall.

Rivel was laughing his ass off outside as he watched the truck drive away. "Ha! Could you call that a hit and run, or what?"

"Honestly, you think they'd stick a ladder on the inside, too." Lelouch scowled, steadying himself from the blow.

"Stop the vehicle now, and you'll get the chance to defend yourself in court!" One of the pilots howled as three aircrafts hovered overhead. "Stop, and surrender at once!" Various bullets were shot at the truck, causing it to swerve from side to side and nearly crash again.

"Now what the hell do we do? Even the army's after us!" The blue haired driver yelled. Kallen tore off her hat and threw it out the window with an intense amount of swag. "Have you already forgotten? That's what I'M here fore!"

"Well, if I jump out, I have the choice of breaking my neck or getting shot." Lelouch mumbled to himself. Before he could move, Kallen walked past without noticing him, rambling on about some shit that he didn't care about.

"Kallen! Let's use it here, why not?"

"Because, you idiot! That would mean a bloodbath!" Kallen said as she darted up the ladder. The blue haired driver sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes. _Hmm. I guess they're not retards after all. But that's weird… I feel like I've seen that girl before. _

"Lelooooooooouch! Come on, where are you? We've gotta get to school!" Rivel yelled from the outside.

"The target is moving from the settlement towards the ghetto!" One of the pilots yelled.

"Copy that!"

Then a random ass metal string thing came out of the truck's vagina and hooked onto one of the aircrafts, pulling it down to the ground and smashing it to pieces.

"Is that.. A slash fanfiction generator?!" The pilot screeched. "Holy shit! Not only does it have the power to kill us, but it's also able to create gay lemon stories and porn books at will!" The generator was launched out into the road, the door shutting before Lelouch could make his way out.

"Crap! These guys are real terrorists!" Lelouch exclaimed.

"Yeah, you guys know full WELL what this bad ass mofo can do!" Kallen screamed, kicking the shit out of one of the aircrafts.

"Oh, really?" The guy with blue hair that is extremely important to the plot said, jumping out into the open with his OWN epic robot. "I can only assume you dug that piece of shit out of some trash heap. No way IN HELL will it ever match the power of my FANFIC ERASER!" He fired a shot at Kallen's fanfic generator, knocking her back a few yards. "Shit!" She shrieked.

"Kallen, we gotta split up!" The blue haired truck driver screamed over his walkie talkie. "Both of us can't risk being killed by those wretched heterosexuals! RUN FOR IT!"

"But-!"

"Oh no you don't!" he directed the fanfic eraser in front of the truck and fired a round of bullets at the windshield. The truck driver cursed inwardly as he swerved the vehicle to avoid direct damage.

Kallen shot one of her robot's hands at her opponent, causing him to pause to stop the blow. "I'll admit, I like your spirit." He sneered. "…But you won't have it for long!"

Lelouch bit his lip as he checked his cellphone. _There's no service. We're out of range. That must mean we're driving along the old subway lines….They're headed for an exit somewhere in the ghetto. Getting out now would be dangerous. But still… Okay, I've got it! I'm not big on all this military bullshit, but I'll sure as hell take their protection. If I give them a terrorist communicator… Oh, wait, I forgot!_

"Ugh, some friend, leaving me behind like that! What a douchebag!" Rivel complained as he pushed his motorcycle down the road.

"Ah ha." A lavender haired scientist with harry potter glasses taunted the fat black soldier standing in front of him. Bartley narrowed his eyes. "…What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just looking at a typical blunder of a man, am I right?"

"Why, you-!"

"Wow, you royally fucked yourself over. Terrorists came along and stole whatever the fuck that you and that Clovis dude were working on. I'm guessing it was a huge barrel of fried chicken?"

"Shit it, you skinny lil' bitch! What, just because I'm black, that automatically makes me a chicken freak? Man, fuck you. FUCK. YOU." Bartley scowled, his finger pointed in a threatening manner.

"Uhm… Yes?"

"YOU LITTLE-"

"FUCK BITCH MOTHERFUCKER BALLSACK TITTYFUCK ASSHOLE SKANKITTY SLUT SLUT oh hi, guys !" A girl with purple hair and a flashy uniform skipped up to the two of them. "SON OF A BITCH ASSBALLS DICKFAGGOT I have news! It turns out that my calculations were exactly correct! SUCK MY DICK YOU ANAL RAPIN' POTHOLE! All you have to do is let the terrorists go and find their hideout, too! Then all your problems will be solved YOU CUNTBAG." The girl finished with a warm, caring smile.

There were a few moments of silence before Bartley finally spoke. "….What the fuck?" But the scientist absentmindedly waved his hand towards the girl. "Oh, that's my assistant, Cecile. Don't mind her. She just has a _mild_ case of Tourette's."

"Mild…?"

"Yes. _Mild._"

"…..Alright then. Anyways.." Bartley continued. "That's enough. What is it the special core wants out of this?"

"Well, I might be a bit early in saying this, but I want to assist with a cleanup."

"Assist?"

"Correct. The data is all I want."

"Excuse me FUCKHEADS, BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAVE THESE people stolen, anyways?" Cecile asked. Bartley's eyes narrowed once more. "Chemical weapons. In other words… Poison gas."

"The terrorists are hiding in the subway system. Your mission is to locate the weapon that they've stolen. Investigate the old subway system that runs through 11 residential district in the Shinjuku ghetto. Report them the moment you stop them!" A single pilot gave instructions over the radio. "Recovery of the target will be handled by us, the royal guards. You now serve the great, heterosexual empire of Britannia, but you were born faggots. Therefore, the stench of these cum-guzzling assholes should be familiar to you. Now carry arms, and show some results! This is your opportunity to show your loyalty to Britannia!"

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ The blue haired driver sat battered and bleeding in the front of the truck, the crimson liquid dripping down his arm. Unable to control the vehicle any longer, he careened into the wall. _Yeah, I'm screwed._

Lelouch was jolted out of his thoughts by the sudden movement. "What was that? Another accident?!"

"Omg like, help me gaiz, I don't wanna die." The truck driver weakly flicked a switch that apparently did something that could possibly save his life.

Meanwhile, Suzaku Kururugi was in his uniform, searching the perimeter of the truck, and his scope locked down on Lelouch's sudden movement.

"We've got the target in sight!" The pilots communicated outside.

"Good, now I can use this chance to climb up!" Lelouch exclaimed, preparing to get himself up on the ladder. All of a sudden, Suzaku appeared out of nowhere and kicked Lelouch in the face, sending him flying and slamming onto the floor.

"Shit… Are you… Britannian?" Lelouch choked as Suzaku gripped his throat, pinning him down on the floor.

"Ohmaygawd, like, that's enough mindless murder! Seriously, stop!"

"No! You don't understand! I'm not one of them…"

"Planning to use poison gas, huh?" His grip tightened on Lelouch's throat. "Don't play dumb with me, pretty boy!"

"Get…The fuck…Off me!" Lelouch kicked him in the stomach, causing him to jump back a few feet. "I'm not here by choice. And if that's poison gas, wasn't it made by the dreaded heterosexuals of Britannia?!"

Suzaku gasped, suddenly realizing who he was up against. _Is… That…?_

"Mindless murder, you say?" Lelouch screeched. "Then why don't you just obliterate Britannia?"

"Lelouch! It's me, Suzaku!" The young man exclaimed, pulling off his mask to reveal his face. Lelouch gasped at the sight of his lost boyfriend. "S-Suzaku? Is that really you?" He rushed over to give him a hug. "Holy shit! You just disappeared one day… I-I thought I'd never see you again." Suzaku blinked and returned the embrace. "…I'm sorry.. I just… Needed to get away.. It was nothing about you… It was.. Me.."

"Ha, you're really using that cliché bullshit on me?" Lelouch chuckled as he pulled away, but his disposition quickly changed to a darker one. "Wait….You became… A Britannian soldier?"

"Yeah! And what about you? You're a-"

"What are you saying-"

The pod carrying the poison gas suddenly opened, large beams of light flashing out to and fro.

"That's not poison gas… What the fuck is it?" Suzaku blinked in confusion.

A green haired girl wrapped in bandages slowly lifted herself through the air….

"So, do you think we were right? And what about that truck driver? Did he make it underground?" Came a voice over the radio. Kallen shrugged. "I don't know, hopefully. But yeah, I'm pretty sure it's some kind of poison gas." Meanwhile, the blue haired driver was almost dead from blood loss.

"Suzaku, tell me the truth." Lelouch said sternly, gripping the unconscious girl in his arms. _"Are you straight?" _

Suzaku's eyes widened in horror. "Of course not! Whatever gave you that idea? The only person I've ever loved is you!"

"Uh huh. Then why do you have this little whore in here?"

"Lelouch, she's not even mine! I have no idea WHY the hell she's here you're crazy, you know that?"

"Maybe so, but are you sure you don't know anything about her?" Suzaku nodded in response. "Yeah, it's what they told us in the briefing, I swear!"

The two of them turned when they heard a series of footsteps coming up behind them. A general and his soldiers stood before them, a livid look plastered on the leader's face. "You little shit! Being an honorary Britannian won't excuse you from this!"

"B-But sir, I was told this was poison gas!" Suzaku replied, rushing up to meet his subordinate. "You don't understa-"

"How DARE you question orders!" The general snarled, causing Suzaku to move back a few inches. "But.."

_Damn, this is bad._ Lelouch thought. _What is this thing? And do I pose a threat to Suzaku's superiors if it's unleashed?_

"However, in light of your astounding achievements, I'm going to be lenient." He handed Suzaku a gun. "Blow this faggot's brain's out, and I may just let you off the hook."

"N-No! You don't know what you're thinking! He's not a terrorist, he's just a civilian that got caught up in this!"

"You insolent fuck! It's an order! Didn't you swear your undivided loyalty to Britannia? And how dare you come up with that riduclous excuse about your sexuality! It's not true! I won't have it!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't." Suzaku stood firm.

"…_What." _

"You can't make me kill anyone, you lowlife. I refuse." Suzaku turned to give Lelouch a warm smile. "I can't kill him. He's my best friend, and my boyfrie-" But the general fired a shot into his back before he could say any more. "_I'm_ the lowlife? That doesn't mean much, coming from a filthy cumguzzler like you."

"SUZAKU!" Lelouch howled, tears forming in his eyes. _No. _

"Hmph. Alright, now that that's over with, collect the girl. Oh, and kill the student, please."

"Yes, my lord!" Came the unanimous response.

The blue haired truck driver made on final attempt at restoring honor to his country. "Death…to… Britannia... Long..live… The GAY!" He pressed a button next to the steering wheel, which caused the whole vehicle to self-destruct, killing him instantly and causing a huge ass explosion.

"They got away?! And you call yourself the royal guards?" Bartley spat into the communicator. "I'm sorry, my lord, but the blast was mainly directed upwards, and-"

"Why the hell do you think I only told you people about this?! Fucking retards, ya'll can't do anything right!"

"We'll continue the investigation, sir!"

"It looks like the plan has moved forward to the next phase." Clovis commented from his throne.

"B-But your highness-"

"If word of her gets out, my image to the people will be forever ruined, and I will most likely be disinherited. As third prince of Britannia, I command you- destroy Shinjuku ghetto and all of the faggots that reside there! Leave no one alive, comprende? Oh, and Bartley?"

"Yes, my lord?"

"Could you fetch me some fried chicken?"

"No. Fucking. Way."

So then a shitload of S. flew down from the sky and massacred a majority of the Shinjuku ghetto. Supervisor Jeremiah (the blue haired dude who is VERY important to the plot) was given an order to take command and fuck up some more bitches, which he ended up doing very well.

A horrified Lelouch threw the girl a few feet away before going to cower in the corner. "What the hell are you?! This is all your fault, isn't it, you stupid bitch!" He placed a shaky hand on his forhead. "Not only you… But Britannia.. They've even taken Suzaku away from me! Why, why, why?"

The girl could only watch with a saddened look on her face as Lelouch sat there and cried like the little whiny ass bitch that he truly was.

"Huh… It's not there?" The scientist asked.

"It looks like THAT ASSFUCKING CUNT FACE went to the front line." Cecile replied.

"But.. We even brought the S.P.D v2 out!"

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU LITTLE ASS BITCH, but what are we going to do now?" The girl frowned in defeat.

"Huh. We steamrolled our way in here, but we don't have a divisor to use it." The scientist sighed, holding up the key.

"Now, you stay quiet." Lelouch motioned to the girl before shakily crawling up the steps, but he soon found himself jumping down to avoid a flurry off bullets.

"Omg, so like, we only found elevens here." One of the soldiers complained. "How boring."

"You're sure of it?" Another asked.

"Yes, sir!"

All of a sudden, Lelouch's phone rang. He attempted to silence the call, causing Shirley to bitch about the fact that he had been hung up on. _Shit!_

_Before he knew it, the soldiers had pinned him up against the wall with their guns, along with the girl. "Ha. What a perfect way for a terrorist to meet his end." Lelouch narrowed his eyes and sneered, "You know what? You scum can all just suck my hard, massive dick."_

_The soldier twitched. "Oh, so that's how you wanna play it? Fine, bitch. Time to die~" _

"NUUUUU! YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!" The girl jumped in front of him as the man fired the gun, saving Lelouch from the blow. The bullet hit her square in the head, and she fell to the floor in a pool of her own blood. Lelouch could only stare in horror at the unfolding events._ How can this be happening? First Suzaku, and now… This girl? Why, just why? And now, I'm about to die…_

The boy sniffed, tears running down his face as he thought of his beloved sister. _I didn't even have time to do anything with my life.. I can't even help her… Oh, Nunnally!_

Suddenly, a whip of firey energy gripped him by the arm, and a voice entered his mind.

"Ledouche. It is possible for me to grant amazing power. You seem to have a reason for living. If I give it to you, will you carry on? The only thing I ask for in return as that you grant my only wish."

"…Did you just call me Ledouche?"

"YES, but that doesn't matter. Do you want it, or not?"

"…Eh, why the fuck not. I accept the terms of the contract!" And just like that, Lelouch was returned to his present time. He faced the soldiers with a malevolent sneer as he removed one hand from his eye. "I, Lelouch Vi Britannia, command all of you to kill yourselves!"

"Yes, your highness!" The soldiers cackled, raising their guns and blowing their own brains out.

_**That was the turning point. And ever since then.. I've lived a lie. A lie of living. Everything about me was a lie. My name, my personal history, my everything. So many lies… I was sick to death of a world that couldn't be changed. Even in my lies, I refused to give up and bear it, because now this incredible power was mine. And now that my cliché speech of the day is over, let us cut to the ending theme!**_

Ikedomo kemonomichi shishi yo tora yo to hoooeeee

At that, my friends, concludes episode one of Code Geass: LeDouche of The Rebellion.


End file.
